The Robots are Coming
written & illustrated by Grandad


The robots had been travelling the universe for over a year, looking for a suitable planet to take over. They eventually arrived in our solar system and discovered our earth and decided that it was perfect for them. They made their plans to invade, but had no idea that Theo was waiting for them, he had been tracking them with his telescope from his bedroom. No one believed Theo, apart from his grandparents, that there was a spaceship approaching earth.



There, however, was a problem in the spaceship, the sat nav had no signal and the robots were lost and the two co-pilots were trying to convince the leader which way to go. Trouble is they could not agree, so in the end they had to show the leader their idea of what the earth looked like and the leader had to decide. There was a moment, when the leader thought the sun was the earth, but decided it wasn't and told them to carry on as they were.



They, finally arrived in London, they knew this was the capital of England, because their travel guide told them so. Trouble was their automatic pilot was not working either, so they flew straight over London and headed southwards, towards Surrey. Theo, was tracking their progress through his telescope and suddenly realised they were coming towards him.

His grandad and nanny had gone shopping, so he decided to watch the spaceship from the garden and imagine his surprise when it landed in the garden. Then a voice said "are you the leader of the earth things?" "Earth things," Theo thought, what a strange thing to say, he had always imagined that aliens were clever beings.



So, Theo replied " yes, I am the leader of the Earth things, what do you want here?" The voice said "we have come to take over your planet and you Earth things will all work for us." Theo put up his hands and said "that is never going to happen." Without warning the doors opened in the spaceship and Theo was surrounded by robots. The robot nearest him said "our leader wants to question you and you will come with us now." Theo realised they were serious about taking over the Earth and that somehow he had to stop them.



Inside the spaceship Theo was surrounded by robots and he knew he had to think fast. The leader spoke and Theo realised they knew very little about the Earth, if anything, yes, they knew all the scientific stuff about it, but that was all. After the leader had finished outlining his plans, to make everyone work for them, Theo saw some holes in their plan and decided to use them.

He told the leader, it would be better if they integrated with the Earth things and the leader asked if Theo was prepared to answer questions and tell them about Earth things. Theo smiled he was going to enjoy this, especially when the leader asked what was the most popular name and Theo replied "daft."



Theo noticed every time he said something the leader pressed a button on his arm and a memory stick on his arm lit up, this had to be the main control thought Theo. "What is the favourite food of earth things?" asked the leader. Theo tried not to giggle when he thought of all the things he hated to eat, marmite, baked beans, brussel sprouts and said "Earth things love brussel sprouts, so if you want to win us over, you need to eat the same."

He watched as the leader pressed the button on his arms and the light go red. Somehow, he needed to get that memory stick. As he looked around he saw all the robots had lights that lit up when the leader pressed his button.



The leader asked Theo what else the Earth things like to do, Theo saw his opportunity to act and said that we love to play games and our favourite game is "Simon says." The leader asked him to explain and Theo explained it would be better to show them. He explained the rules and started with "Simon says wave your arms in the air." The robots followed and again he watched the leader press the button, he did a couple more and then he went for the big one.

"Simon says turn around, sit on the floor, close your eyes and count to 100," to Theo's surprise they did. Within seconds he had taken the memory stick from the leader and was running away from the spaceship as he heard "32, 33, 34, 35."



Once the leader discovered what Theo had done, he ordered the robots to find Theo and bring Theo to him. The leader was still convinced that Theo was the leader of the Earth things and needed to capture Theo, because Theo had the memory stick. The leader could not delete any previous instructions, he could add new ones, but nothing that would delete the old ones, he needed that memory stick back. They started to search the local area and by now the air force had launched planes, but the electric field around the spaceship protected them against the planes.



They decided to look for Theo on the streets, so they tried to mix with people in Oxford street, but they rather stood out. It might have been the daft on their helmets that gave them away. The people on the street thought it was a marketing campaign and took no notice of them and the robots thought they were really clever.



The robots spent hours looking for Theo, but could not find him. Actually, Theo was not hiding, he just had his super hero costume on, but the robots did not recognise him. Yes, they had an image of him in their memory, but he did not match that image, so they left him alone. The robots got tired very quickly and needed to rest often, at one point, Theo stood right behind a robot who was sitting on a bench and the robot totally ignored him.

Theo knew he was safe for now, but eventually the leader would catch up with him and that the robots were a real threat to the Earth, so he needed to do something fast.




Theo knew he had to get back on the spaceship to access the computer on it and programme the robots. If he could get them to start eating brussel sprouts, the wind produced by them, would hopefully make them malfunction. He needed a plan to get back in the spaceship and he realised very quickly the only way to get back on, was to allow himself to be captured. So, he had to allow himself to be discovered, but he knew now, the robots were not very bright, so he had to make it easy for them.



So, Theo made it really easy for the robots, he went to Oxford Circus and stood on the top of a bus and shouted "hello I am here", after 10 minutes the spaceship arrived and 2 robots were sent down to pick him up. He was taken aboard and the spaceship flew up into space, to make sure this time Theo did not escape. The leader approached him and said " no messing about Theo, give me that memory stick back." Theo could see, that it would be wise to give him the memory stick back and he did. But, Theo being Theo had already hatched another plan to stop this invasion of the Earth.



"This time Theo, as the leader of the Earth things, you will answer my questions properly, otherwise I will destroy your planet." Said the leader of the robots, Theo knew the leader was not joking this time and agreed. To make sure Theo would, two robots held him while he answered the questions. "So, is daft the best name for us to use?" "Yes" replied Theo. He waited and saw the leader nod with approval and knew his plan was going to work. He continued to answer the questions the same as before.

Theo went on to tell the leader about the Earth things secret supply of brussel sprouts. If the robots eat the secret supply before the Earth things, they will have the power over the Earth things. He waited for the leader to see through the plan, but he didn't and asked directions to where the sprouts were. Theo told them, I mean it would be rude not too.



The spaceship and the robots arrived at the field, the leader asked Theo, " how many do they need to eat and how do you eat them?" Theo thought for a moment and then replied " you need to eat them whole and your robots need to eat every single one, to prevent the Earth things getting them." The leader gave the order and the robots began to eat. The leader was happy and let Theo go, as Theo was walking away, he heard the robots begin to pass wind and then 5 minutes later he heard the clatter of metal, he went back to have a look and saw the robots had begun to explode, with all that wind. By the time the leader managed to get them to stop eating, he had only 8 robots left.



Later in the garden, just before the last of the defeated robots were about to take off in their spaceship, Theo asked the leader of the robots what was the name of the planet they left behind. The leader replied "planet stupid." Theo looked at his grandad, who had now come back from shopping, they both burst out laughing and grandad said " well that explains everything." With that the robots took off, went up a mile in the sky, stopped and went left.

Theo and grandad gave a sigh of relief and started to go indoors, only to hear the spaceship coming back, it stopped and a voice said "sorry, sat nav is still not working, which way?" Theo pointed right and off they flew, there were no words they could say as they laughed and went in for tea, the invasion was over, mind you it never really started thanks to Theo. Theo giggled as he thought of them travelling through space and all that wind and sprout smell in the spaceship.